“Beneficent creatures from the 17th Dimension”

Seventh Circuit Court Chief Judge Frank Easterbrook’s opinion on an FTC case that alleged fraudulent claims from the maker of a bracelet that supposedly relieved pain:

In a decision issued on January 3 and written by Chief Judge Frank Easterbrook, the court concluded, “The magistrate judge did not commit a clear error, or abuse his discretion, in concluding that the defendants set out to bilk unsophisticated persons who found themselves in pain from arthritis and other chronic conditions.” The court found that the defendants’ claims about how their product worked, for example, through “ionization” or “enhancing the flow of bio-energy” were “blather.” Judge Easterbrook wrote, “Defendants might as well have said: Beneficent creatures from the 17th Dimension use this bracelet as a beacon to locate people who need pain relief, and whisk them off to their homeworld every night to provide help in ways unknown to our science.”