Quote of the Day: Only word for this is gross

A college-aged guy and girl are walking down 114th Street on Thursday, March 5, at about 10 a.m:

Guy: Someone took a shit in my bath tub.

Girl: Are you serious?

Guy: Yeah, I walked in, and I thought, it smells worse than usual in here.

Quote of the Day

Overheard walking up Broadway, around 114th

College guy #1: And they all came of age at fat camp…but they were all scumbags. Like this guy Charney.

College guy #2: Charney! That sounds like a fat guy’s name.

Vitas!

Found out about Vitas, the Russian pop star sensation, the other night at a party. (We proceeded to watch this video three or four times).  As someone said, it is great to know we live in a world where this is going on.  And his swagger as he hits that unconscionable note is proof that anything can look good with confidence behind it.

The media apocalypse series: a calm Tina Brown visits an anxious j-school

Columbia School of Journalism’s weekly Delacorte Lecture, which brings in magazine luminaries during the spring semester, is increasingly turning into the media apocalypse series.  Last night, Tina Brown, the controversial former editor of The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, and Talk Magazine came to discuss her new webzine, The Daily Beast and to take up the unrelenting narrative of the 2008-09 j-school year that the media as we know it is imploding.

Like many other speakers who have visited the school this year, she assured us that our class will live long and prosper in this new environment because of our youth and web savvy.  Brown also made some fair points that the laments over the demise of the best aspects of old media are overblown.  Sure, television networks have shuttered foreign bureaus, but when they were up and running, their main function was to send reporters to the crisis spot to do “stand-ups against palm trees.”  She nevertheless assured her audience she is still committed to those old standards of putting out a publication with unique story angles and quality writing.

It must be the apocalypse if Tina Brown, who I had long held responsible for corrupting the New Yorker–not that I even read the magazine pre-Brown, as I was 9-years-old–starts making sense.  It was not even so much about what she was saying but what she was doing–or more, that Brown was doing at all.

In these calamitous times, it is tempting to want to sit and predict the future and find a successful model to weather it.  Brown certainly offered her prescriptions last night: be a business journalist and go to India where a new and incredibly lively English media market is emerging.  I have heard these before many times and can think of counter-arguments to both: what will happen to the business press now that there are far fewer people in finance?  And India’s media will probably experience contractions with this economy.  Moreover, I met a grad student at a mixer afterwords who was a former journalist himself and said the writing in the Indian press was awful, contrary to Brown’s lavish praise of publications like Tehelka.  In today’s climate, bureaus with abundant media jobs offer jobs that are drudge-work by a journalist’s standards.  I can’t imagine that Indian media that are trying to lure young English-speaking Americans are any different.   What often goes unsaid in the fretting about all of the outsourcing to India is that they are getting the worst of our jobs.  (Read Katherine Boo’s The Best Job in Town from the July 5, 2004, New Yorker if you can get your hands on it).

But I digress.  There is no successful model.  We just gotta to do what we gotta do, to paraphrase a Nina Simone song, rather than figure out what the successful journalist of the future will look like.  Will s/he be a Flash maven?  A camera-toting, freelancing, globetrotting adventurer?  Will s/he bring back the glory days of Hunter S. Thompson and Norman Mailer?

During the Q&A, a woman who many in the audience clearly thought was insane stood up to urge the students to “hook up” instead of spend time trying to figure out what the future will look like.  Even though Tina humorously responded that the people in this school probably don’t need to worry about failing to hook up enough, I thought that woman had a point.  We’re too caught up here in worrying about the great Unkown to a degree that is almost absurd.  I mean, don’t we all make fun of psychics?

The great thing and the problem with academic institutions like the Columbia j-school is they engage in a lot of this soul-searching.  To quote a line that Vice President Nixon once posed to President Eisenhower, “General, there comes a time in matters like this when you need to either shit or get off the pot!”.”

So unambitious

Sometimes, in the atmosphere of high achievement I constantly find myself in, I feel so unambitious.  Career services just forwarded us an email to apply for a Nicholas Kristof travel tour.  The winner gets an all-expenses paid trip to beautiful Africa, complete with tours of hot spots. (Okay, I don’t know if that’s true).  For you aspiring Africa reporters out there, you ought to go for it.  To me, it sounds like just about the last thing I would want to do.  There is enough difficulty in the world as it is right now that it seems a lot to ask of oneself to hang out and try to impress a foremost guy in his field like Kristof in such a troubled region.  Am I crazy for seeing these “go and be an idealist in a foreign country or poor area of the USA” opportunities as so hopelessly daunting?  Perhaps.  I’m also just sick of getting Career Services e-mails.  I get it guys, I should get a job!

I often make predicitions in my head about what the future will look like, and I believe the privileged in my generation will someday have a backlash against the expectations put on them as young people.  I’m already part of the backlash myself.  I want to savor life, not race through it.  I want to savor life like a Werther’s Original candy. :-)

The lowly tech guy

I love the dynamic between office workers and tech people, which was perhaps best captured with “Saturday Night Lives”‘s Nick Burns, Your Company’s Computer Guy, so I found this particularly funny, from Chronicle for Higher Education, about IT people feeling beleaguered on college campuses:

Another issue is that academe is full of world-class experts, and many people in the IT department have trouble telling those experts how to run their computers.

O’Reilly challenges Columbia j-school’s reputation. We’re through.

To think that the Columbia Journalism Review, a magazine that has been sitting in my mailbox in the basement of the journalism school gathering dust, could provoke such a thorough condemnation of the school from Bill O’Reilly is pretty ridiculous.  Columbia “used to be the best j-school in the country, but it has become a hotbed of liberal activism these days,” O’Reilly said on his show last week as he began ripping into an article from CJR.  Never mind that the students at the j-school do not write for CJR.

Even more ridiculous, O’Reilly has one of his minions follow the editor of CJR, Mike Hoyt, onto his bus in New Jersey to hound him about why he had someone from the magazine the Nation write for CJR, after Hoyt earlier told the Factor he did not have time to prepare to appear on the show that week. The outrage of the whole segment seems forced and phoned in. I think it is just O’Reilly’s attempt to promote his alma mater, Boston University.

By the way, even more ridiculous, O’Reilly follows that by giving a scolding to the paparazzi for hounding Miley Cyrus.  Jon Stewart did a brilliant send-up of the whole thing last night.

Steve Harvey gives dating advice??

I have seen many absurd things on the subway, but I think this one takes the cake.  A woman was standing reading a book titled, I kid you not Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Thing About Love, Relationships, and Commitment by Steve Harvey.  Yes, Steve Harvey, comedian, talk show host, bad sitcom star deigns to give you relationship advice.  I can’t object to this book’s content, in particular, because there is no way I will ever read it, but Steve is supposedly on his third marriage, so the book is kind of as preposterous as the weight-loss advice book from Dr. Phil.

Here is some relationship advice to men, because women bear a disproportionate amount of it, and yet men need it a lot more.

  • Do not think a woman is into you just because she is nice to you.  How often does a man mistake simple, everday politeness for signs of interest?  Hone your intuition, gentlemen.
  • Ask questions and be interested in the answer.  As a journalist type and a private person, I am definitely on the asking side of the equation with most people, but it is bewildering to me when a fellow who is supposedly interested does not ask a single question about me.  How could you not want to know about someone you would like to spend more time with?  It’s very suspect, I think.
  • Don’t be evasive.  If you’re “just not that into her” tell her if she asks. Not doing so makes you seem pretty craven.

I’ll think of more later, but I am guessing this is a little better than Steve Harvey.  And I’m not even on my first marriage.

The best Obama souvenir

Someone had the clever idea to memorialize how Barack loves his woman.  Barry White CD not included.img_4952

HBO to Broadcast Inauguration Exclusively

After broadcasting a successful star-studded inaugural concert from the majestic steps of the Lincoln Memorial Sunday, which drew 400,000 people from all corners of the nation and millions of television viewers, HBO announced today that it has just gained exclusive rights to show the inauguration of Barack Obama on Tuesday, January 20.

Citing the success of the “We Are One” concert, which went off virtually without a hitch, uniting spectators in songs “This Land is Your Land” and “America, the Beautiful” with featured guests like Bruce Springsteen, Stevie Wonder and Pete Seeger, HBO said it is the only network that can do justice to the swearing in of the 44th President of the United States.

Known for its critically-acclaimed television shows that have included “The Sopranos,” “The Wire,” “Six Feet Under,” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” and having just recently acquired a documentary on Obama’s presidential run, HBO said the only jewel missing in its programming crown is an event unparalleled in American or world history, the inauguration of the nation’s first black president, Barack Obama.

Because HBO is a pay-cable network that is not included in a regular basic cable package, viewers must subscribe to the network  in order to watch the inauguration of Barack Obama.  HBO expects subscription requests to soar and has hired additional customer service representatives to accommodate the demand, but the website has already crashed twice since the announcement, according to an HBO spokesman.

“President-elect Obama, HBO looks forward to broadcasting your elevation to leader of the free world to a nation and globe captivated by your message of hope,” HBO CEO Bill Nelson said in press conference remarks Monday, “And Mr. President-elect, on Tuesday, you are free to say ‘fuck.’”

The above is of course a joke, though with HBO’s monopoly of impressive programming and stingy move to yank youtube videos of yesterday’s “We are One” concert, one never knows.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.